It’s Tid Bit Tuesday ,time for the blog series sharing a more intimate look at my life. Like many of you I was bullied when I was a child. Most of the time I turned the other tear stained cheek . Sometimes I even fought back. I have a few scars on my knuckles to prove it. Picture a girl in a mini skirt and go go boots punching a bully (with braces) right in his mouth. Not smart! I do not advocate violence. But that was the last time he messed with me.
I did have one particular incident of bullying that was so horrific I have actually blocked most of it out. Even as I write this I feel trepidation as a sadness wells in my stomach. All I remember is …several kids older than me, all holding me down, and then the unbearable pain of a broken paint brush handle thrust into my ear and puncturing my eardrum. It is true that your mind blocks out what your heart cannot bear. I am grateful I do not remember it all. I know my Mother has it in her memory banks. She will refer to it on occasion when the topic of bullying or even an earache is mentioned.
I’m not writing this post to elicit sympathy. I was just thinking about bullying this morning. My daughter had some bad experiences when she was young. I did what I could to protect her and to stop it. Our oldest granddaughter has been enduring bullying over the past few years and I pray that her 8th grade school year will be a better experience.
Did today’s Tid Bit Tuesday Bully post remind you of a time when you were bullied? Or about someone you cared about who may have been bullied?
Bullies really aggravate me! People get bullied for so many ridiculous reasons, not the name brand clothing, not the nice house, parents dont have the right jobs..Its all horrible. I got messed with a little, mainly for being nice to the kids that were bullied.
Bless your heart and hers, too! I don’t recall ever being bullied as a child, but I was a tough as nails, tomboy and although I was small for my age, I would take anyone on. My granddaughter has been experiencing bullying and my heart breaks for her. She’s such a sweet child, but just because she has one less than appealing feature, she gets picked on. Poor baby. It makes me feel so helpless. I can only imagine how it makes her feel.
After leaving my comment, I did some thinking AND remembering. I DID have a few bullies in my life, four that I can think of. I won’t mention one of them, but the second one, I was married to, briefly. He was physically and emotionally abusive. We divorced fairly quickly. The third was someone I coached with. She was a brow beater. I ended up telling her off and she ended up respecting me for it. The fourth was a partner in my father in law’s business. She was a tyrant and a bully, to everyone and everyone was terrified of her. (even me until I’d had enough) I told her how the cow ate the cabbage and never had another problem with her. My father in law was shocked and amazed and couldn’t believe it and he was one tough cookie, but even he hadn’t been able to muster the guts. I was so proud of myself!
I am shocked and disturbed to learn that you suffered such a savage attack, dear Katie. I can hardly bear the thought of it and I know the memories must be very painful for you. I remember at age 5 being surrounded by a gang of bullies at a park near my house and beaten with rubber hoses. My only crime was that I was new to the neighborhood. The Welcome Wagon fled the scene when my older brother and his teenage buddy raced to my rescue. My granddaughter endured bullying from a former female friend who turned against her, spread vicious rumors at school, hacked into her email and Facebook accounts and sent out fictitious mass mailings and postings under my granddaughter’s name. We know that bullies were often bullied themselves or abused by parents. This terrible chain needs to be broken.
My oldest son who is 23 now was bullied when he was in grade school. He has Asperger Syndrome and because of the way he acted he was bullied to the point of feeling ill every morning before getting on the bus. I finally couldn’t bare it any longer and pulled him and his brother out of school to homeschool them. It was the best thing I did for him. He flourished in the calmer environment.
It horrifies me to think of what you had to go through Katie. How do we stop the bully?
It seems to get worse and worse as the Lord tarries. Must of the time it goes right back to their raisin!
The most painful experiences for me was when my daughter was bullied and she still bears some of those scars today…though I have to say she has recovered more from it than I have. The Mean-Girl-Queen-Bee syndrome is one that I am extra sensitive to as a teacher and will call girls out if I see they are inflicting pain on someone else. It takes teachers and parents to do something…you can’t legislate this…it has to be a heart change and a courage step for adults who are aware of it. I have gone to administration many times about bullying and will continue to do so as long as I teach!
My heart goes out to you! It makes me sick to think that a human being can be so mean to another. Being so small, I too was bullied, but had a wonderful friend who came to my rescue. Years later we are still such good friends! I guess the only way to end it is to talk about it! Glad you came forward.
It is so very hard to talk about when we were bullied as children. I still can’t but I do believe sharing is healing. I hope by sharing you have healed your heart:) It’s so sad that is still happening to children but bring awareness to it is helping.
Hugs
You have to wonder about the people who brought these kids into the world. I believe this behavior is learned, as is knowing how to hate. I was bullied in jr. high and to this day I still think of the little runt who tortured me to no end. There were a few girls who were no prize package either. Thankfully, we grow and move away and never see these people again. And they eventually have their date with Karma. 😉 xo
Oh my dear Katherine, I am so sorry that you had to endure that awful bullying experience. It really is the worst thing in the world, isn/t it, and I also feel for your poor granddaughter. like you, I pray that things will get better for her when she starts the new school term. If I could wave a magic wand, all bullying would disappear. Hugs coming your way.
I was a victim of the Mean-Girl-Queen-Bee syndrome starting in 7th grade and lasting throughout most of my high school years. I am sure I still carry the scars. It was the reason I left the farm the minute I graduated from high school and is also probably why I drank too much in college. At 50 I am still trying to find my strength and become a confident woman.
As to your incident with the paint brush, that was more than bullying. I would call that an assault by a mob.
I hope things get better for your granddaughter. I remember my grandma talking to me about the bullying. When you are the kid being ostracized nothing your grandma says can help too much though.
That kind of extreme bullying is beyond comprhension to me. Thankfully I was never a victim of bullying, and knock wood my kids have been spared too. I certainly hope this year is better for your grandaughter.
Bullying seems to have reached epidemic proportions these days…or maybe we all are hearing about it more due to the news and social medias….but, nonetheless, it is so horrific…I’m not sure if I was bullied or just plain “teased”…mostly in elementary school as it subsided in the late elementary years…For you see, they teased me about my ethnic background…my mom is Japanese and my dad is Irish…they teased me all the time and called me names related to being “asian’…it was hurtful, but then again, I had the support of so many friends that those “bullies” were in the minority…I am sorry that you experienced the physical torment of bullies…that is unacceptable…We as a society really need to do more about it…it has really gotten out of hand…So very sad!!!
I hope your granddaughter does not experience this again this year!!
I felt I was “bullied” in jr high. There was one very rough looking boy who would back me up against a wall if he ever caught me int the hall alone, but that was merely intimidation compared to what you experienced. I do hope those kids were punished for assault.
Katherine, my heart is full for you and your granddaughter. What is wrong with some people? It just breaks my heart.
I had polio as a child, and I wore brace during my “growing up” years. I well remember the hurt that others caused.
Sending love to you from me.♥
That is the worst thing I have ever heard. I am so sorry you had to endure that. Bully is NOT ok in any form, mild or in your case severe. I was *teased* quite a bit, mostly for have a very modest sized chest :)…I will include your granddaughter in my prayers as well. Growing up can be so difficult. I hope she finds peace as she enters school this year.
Oh, Katherine, nothing we say can take away what you suffered. What we can do is have zero tolerance for bullying when we see it. We, the people, can make cruelty and violence so unacceptable that no one will want to perpetuate it. It starts with education and you have done that with this post!
Oh my Katie, I am so sorry for what you had to endure. Bullying, in any form, is unacceptable in any form. Teasing or physical bullying can have a lasting effect as it did in your case. I am praying for your grandaughter that her new school year will be a good one. One without bullying and a great new beginning.
My heart goes out to both of you. Blessings, Ginger
I was bullied as a child. It didn’t stop until I was 16. Nothing hurts more, it’s really awful and completely destroys your self esteem
My oldest endured bullying, and I never understood it…he was the sweetest child. He’s Mr. Pysical today, and in the military, not to mention he’s still very nice, so he doesn’t get messed with anymore. 😉 It’s funny how the things that can single us out for getting made fun of when we’re little (such as being too nice), can becoming the most favored trait in a person as the group of folks age.