Menopause Musings

I’m away from blog land today so I’m re-posting from July 2008 :-)

I’ve been right smack dab in the middle of menopause for a while now. I’m constantly declaring, to anyone who will listen, just how “hot” I am. No…. not sexy hot. Hot! Scorching, melting, boiling hot! Lava cools faster than I do, HOT!

I wake up hot, I go to sleep hot, shop hot, eat hot and float on a lazy river hot! In addition to the constant desire to rip all of my clothes off and stand in a meat locker, I also deal with an intermittent vanishing memory. Yes, the memory thing, I refer to my lack of it as “my menopause memory”. So just like Santa, I’ve taken to making lists. I’m constantly making lists. Things to do lists, things to buy lists, things to look up lists, lists to remind me to read the lists!Where did I put my pen?I need to add something to my list.

Menopause, ah, there are so many things to write about this glorious undertaking of women past their child bearing years. Things that were once pointing north now declare the exact location of the South Pole. What was once tight and tone is now soft and squishy, giggle. Muffin top syndrome sets in…… you know that roll that has developed around your mid-section that peaks out from the top of every skirt or pair of pants you wear. Yes, “menopause middle” I own it, I declare it!, I hate it. No amount of crunches can remove it. It’s destined to plop right back where it started. I wear like badge of honor amongst the menopause inflicted and the menopause survivors. So, I say, don’t fight it, embrace it! Embrace it with an ice pack, a smile; several note pads and a handful of pens. Wear as few clothes as possible whenever you’re able and keep telling the world how hot you are. No need to let them know you’re talking about your temperature, right?

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  1. Karen Zemek, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" says:

    I enjoyed reading this because I can relate. I am just entering this stage and have mixed feelings about it. I was always a list person anyway, so that part shouldn’t be too hard to deal with. I also like being warm rather than cold so I’m pretty sure the hot flashes won’t bother me too much.

  2. Another joy of woman hood lol Not looking forward to that part I tell ya.

  3. I didn’t see this post the first time, and now I’m seeing the date! PLEASE tell me/us you are out of the inferno and into the cool pool. Hope it all went away and you are sizzling, but not from hormones!

  4. I am nearly 60 now & …..been there…done that on the menopause road!! You are right…. embrace it. Many generaton before us have gone through that door & now it is for us!! It isn’t so bad!!

  5. Ha! Ha! Every word is my life and existence right now!!!….But you forgot the exhaustion all the time, that exists right beside the ability not to sleep for long periods!! UGH!!!!!!

  6. I agree with all the above, but also itchy calves! I don’t know what it is, especially the right one, ugh! No amount of lotion seems to help. I read a book by Suzanne Somers, and she mentions “itchy calves”, too, as a symptom of menopause. Oh well, this too shall pass! xo,

    • Hmmm itchy calves, can’t say I’ve had that one yet. itchy skin yep, I recently signed up for Suzanne Somers website. She has some very interesting things to share.

  7. Cor that made me LOL… yep, am totally with you on the hotness… .my OH complained I am too hot in bed… not many men can say that rofl THanks for your blog comment.. muchly appreciated x

  8. So menopause isnt the pause that refreshes?

  9. I refer to it as mentalpause and it has been. I went through this young, so my brain has been non-existent for a LONG time. I miss my brain the most.

  10. ahh, katherine, I totally get what you’re saying…now…where did I put my glasses? hmmmm…
    Come by for my first ever blog giveaway!

  11. life just saying says:

    Oh the joys of menopause. Count me among the many. Of course I’m not always hot. Nope, I’m freezing as soon as I throw those covers off. The post made me smile. New follower.

  12. Being almost in my mid-sixties, I’m pleased to say that all this is well behind me. I must have been very fortunate, because I didn’t get many hot flushes at all and certainly no night sweats or anything like that! 😀

  13. I hear ya loud and clear my dear meno~sister! Heck, I was seen stickin’ my head in the freezer at a church dinner this summer. What can I say??? A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

    The only problem is I’m 59…a late bloomer. I thought I was gonna have a period forever. I’d tell folks…I can see ’em in the home. OK whose gonna make the tampon run for Nezzy this month. Heeehehehe!

    God bless ya and have a ‘cool’ beautiful evenin’ sweetie :o)

  14. Katherine says:

    You had me at “float on a lazy river hot”! I love it, and menopause middle. You are an amazing wonderful and witty woman. I love it. I have 8 yrs before going into the 50’s clubs, so I would arm myself with information and embrace menopause. Thanks for sharing this post again. I always like to watch or read something that makes me laugh. You post did it for me tonight. LOL!
    PS: Write me down on your list of to do, I would like to co-host with you. Thank you.
    PSS: I holding my first giveaway, stop by if you have a chance.

  15. Jodi Hall says:

    Im 35 and i have hormonal issues that mimic menopause.. goodness if this is what its like im nottt looking forward to it lol

    Hope you cool off soon! 😀


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